Sonnet

[trinsy]

I had to write a sonnet for my writing class.  We were given the last word of every line and then had to compose the sonnet from that.  It was actually kind of fun, though I spent about fifteen minutes trying to get the right word order in line four, and line eight took me about five hours (mind you, I was doing other stuff inbetween, but it was always nagging at the back of my mind).  I'm rather proud of how it ended up, hence posting it here.  Also, any suggestions for a title would be lovely.

She wore a headdress made of island fruit
It swayed softly in the rhythm of her dance
The tapping of his freshly polished boot
Did not negate the cool pride in his stance
The torches cast a harsh, forbidding light
The shadows on the walls appeared to jump
The hypnosis of her hips was hard to fight
While in his throat there rose a nervous lump
Silently he exited the room
And on a garden bench, he found a seat
He waited for her, gazing at the moon
Envisioning when her lips his would meet
But he was doomed to wait for all of time
For she only existed in this rhyme

Comments

[figs-133.livejournal.com]

That's an awesome idea, and an even better sonnet. Not sure about a title, but I really like it!

[builtofsorrow.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's lovely. Seriously. Loads better than my first (and only) attempt at a sonnet was. It makes me want to take this class... (well, maybe with a different professor).

I wish I had suggestions for a title, but alas, I do not. I would, however, venture to suggest switching about the /only/ & /existed/ in line 14, if you wanted.