The Remains of a Poet

title: Heroes for Ghosts
fandom: Harry Potter
character(s): Remus Lupin
rating: PG
words: ~2400
summary: He tells himself he’s healing because it sounds healthy and well-adjusted and like him, and James has stopped showing up to contradict him.

Hardening, he thinks, is something Sirius would have done.
notes: This is a bit of a different style for me. It’s also a bit weird. The title comes from the Pink Floyd song Wish You Were Here.


( Two days after Halloween, Remus comes home from the safe house where he's been transforming for the past year... )

Day 9: Fanfiction: Discuss

I don’t know if this is going to sound totally pathetic, but HP fanfic saved me. It did. I was in a really, really bad place my junior year of high school, and I discovered fanfiction, and I started writing it, and having that outlet saved me. Honestly, I don’t know where I would be emotionally if I hadn’t had fanfiction as an outlet these past five-and-a-half years. It actually scares me to try to imagine where I’d be, because I know it wouldn’t be any place good (which is saying something, because it’s not like I’m in a particularly great place as it is). I haven’t read a lot of HP fanfic since DH came out, because it was something I read to get my HP fix while I waited for the series to finish, and I don’t feel that compulsion now that it’s over. But I have written a few pieces, and it’s really helped me process a lot of stuff that’s happened to me over the past few years. And as awful as the stuff I wrote in high school is, it accomplished what I needed it to accomplish at that point in my life, so I don’t regret it at all. Fanfiction has been such an important part of my life since I discovered it, and I’m really glad it exists, and I really love Jo for giving it her blessing.

It's weird to think that I've only been here a week.  It feels soo much longer.  I remember this from last year, only it was cooler last year because the novelty was there.  Now it's sort of like: "Here's school.  Here's homework."  And already on Thursday I had to motivate myself to go to class by thinking, "Only fourteen more Art classes; only thirty-one more Writing classes."  It was the second day I had those classes!  Pathetic!

Overall, though, being here is pretty awesome.  I didn't think I was going to like my room very much when I first got here, but now I'm totally in love with it.  My bed is in this sort of alcove, and I can just sit on my bed and read and no one even realizes I'm in the room.

And of course it was nice to come here and already know people.  The first morning, my roommate and I woke up around the same time, and we were just sitting on our beds talking, and I remembered how awkward it was the first morning last year.  She and I are the only ones in our group who can fully appreciate that because we're the only two who came in total strangers and ended up deciding to room together another year.  It's just nice to already be comfortable with people and not have to get to know new ones.  It's nice to be able to arrange to meet someone you already know for lunch on the very first Monday.

It's also nice when you're the only one in the unit who doesn't go out on Friday night, and you know it's not because you're a loser who still hasn't made friends yet, but because you simply don't feel like going out.  I had a very productive evening last night, actually.  I didn't do homework, though I already have a mountain that I need to wade through.  Instead, I sat in my alcove with my computer and wrote a fanfic about Sirius and Regulus, one I've been meaning to write since DH came out.  I'm actually really pleased with how it turned out.  And then some of the girls came back and we watched I Love Lucy on TiVo, and then they all went out again and I went to bed.  It was really very nice.


Tonight we're going out for my birthday, which I'm excited about materialistically because it means I'll get presents (though I'm sure we'll have fun, as well).  I'm holding out for new clothes, which means I can go longer without doing wash.

My new one-shot, A Marauders' Little Christmas, has been posted an MNFF (over a month late, I know).

I just submitted my latest fanfic, another one-shot about Jocelyn.  It focuses primarily on her finding out about Lily and James's deaths, and is rather depressing, I suppose.  I wrote about a page of it after seeing my grandma in the hospital, and a quite a bit more over Thanksgiving.  It's not the best story in the world, certainly, but I like it, and I'm rather pleased with the end result.  Hopefully it'll be up within the week.  I'll post with a link when it is!

~ Trinity

Canis Majoris has been made into a series, and its first accompanying one-shot is in the queue.

Okay, so you may be wondering whatever happened to the one-shot sequel to Canis Majoris I promised (in all likelihood you’ve forgotten about it, as it’s been well over a month since I first announced it).  Well this is to remind you that it is still going to happen.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.  Or rather, as soon as my inspiration returns, which, quite honestly, might not be until after graduation (no promises though).  But it’s still on, it will be either be titled Maybe It’s Me or What Hurts the Most (I am currently favoring the former) and when it’s finally posted I will announce it here.

Just wanted you to know I haven’t forgotten about you.

Trins out.

Chapter 34 of CM has been posted at MNFF. *sighs* I'm so happy I finished a story!  And yet so incredibly sad...

Thanks to all my faithful readers!!  I love you guys!

Chapter 3 of MC has been posted at MNFF.

I thought you would all be interested to know that I have submitted chapter 33 of Canis Majoris.  It’s so weird to think that I only have one more chapter left.  I’ve been with Jocelyn and the rest of them for nearly a year now, and it’s strange to think that it’s almost over.  I almost don’t want to write chapter 34, because then I will have to say goodbye to Jocelyn forever.  I’ve abandoned loads of characters before, but that was easy, because we had drifted apart.  But I’ve never completed a journey with a character and then had to say goodbye forever.  I think, in some incredibly small way I know how Jo must be feeling right now.  I mean, I’m excited to complete this journey (something I’ve never done before), but I’m also incredibly sad.  The only character I’ve ever had a longer relationship with is Blayke (three years with her), and we just drifted apart and ended on quite amiable terms, so it was all good.  But Jocelyn and I are still pretty close, and after all that’s happened…

Jocelyn, I’m sorry.  I’m so, so sorry.  But there was nothing I could do.  I worked it out as best I could.  You worked it out as best you could.  We all did the best we could, and you can’t ask for more than that.

But I’m just as sorry things had to end up this way as you are.