“I am convinced that nothing but the deepest love shall induce me into matrimony.”

[trinsy]

Okay girls, we need to talk. I am becoming increasingly concerned about your taste in men. It has been well over a year since The Phantom of the Opera hit theatres, exposing Andrew Lloyd Webber’s genius to millions of the uncouth, and thus soiling it forever. And yet the obsessive love for the Phantom has not died! This in itself would be disturbing enough. But I am, as you all know, active in the Harry Potter fan base; and the number of girls who profess undying love for Draco Malfoy and/or think that Snape is not only good, but would actually make an ideal mate, is really quite alarming. Now please understand, it is one thing to find an actor portraying one of these characters attractive. It is quite another to sigh for the character himself. Allow me to explain by examining these characters one by one.

The Phantom – Okay, seriously. Do I even need to explain why he is so disturbing? One of my everlasting frustrations with Christine is that she somehow completely misses the creepiness of a strange, masked man coming into her dressing room through her mirror! And yet, somehow, millions of otherwise seemingly intelligent girls have also missed this creepiness. Girls, listen closely: THE PHANTOM IS PSYCHOTIC!  There is nothing, nothing remotely attractive about a man who obsesses over you, kidnaps you, emotionally blackmails you, and is so obsessed with you that “having” you is more important to him than your happiness. Trust me, I know. This is not the sort of relationship you want to be in. If a guy’s entire life is wrapped up in you, be afraid. Be very afraid. And this is all to say nothing of the fact that Erik (the Phantom) is a cold-blooded killer.

Snape – Um… what? Look, whether or not Snape is really good is a matter of opinion. And no, I do not think he will ultimately be the hero of the series, but again, that’s debatable.  But an ideal mate? Oh my fellow females, why, why, why?  As we have all seen, Snape is selfish, self-seeking, bitter, malicious, cruel, and a loner. Not to mention the fact that he has never shown the slightest interest in being any kind of mate to anyone! {insert Snape was/is secretly in love with Lily argument here} All that aside, Snape, like Erik, doesn’t seem to have a problem killing in cold blood. (And don’t give me the crap about how Dumbledore told him to kill him, because that doesn’t make him any less capable of murder. Voldemort told Draco to kill Dumbledore or else he was going to kill Draco’s whole family, and Draco still couldn’t do it. So there you go.)

Draco Malfoy – Draco is essentially the smarter, better-looking, wizarding version of Dudley Dursley. They’re both leaders of gangs with a fondness for bullying anyone smaller than they are, which I think we can all agree are qualities highly desirable in men < /sarcasm>. However intimidating they might appear, however, they’re really both total wimps, particularly when confronted without their gang for support (I can provide quotes upon demand, should anyone wish for them). Yes, I think it was admirable that Draco wanted to protect his parents; no, I do not think that he will ultimately be a hero in the series. The fact that Draco is not a killer doesn’t make him good. A lot of people aren’t killers. The fact that he wanted to protect his parents does not make him any less of a selfish, bullying, wimp. I think it’s safe to say that most people would do the same for their parents. The problem I have with Draco isn’t so much that he’s evil. It’s just that he’s not really a man. And I think nothing short of a miracle will make him anywhere near worthy of any decent sort of girl by the end of book seven.

From these examinations I can only conclude that the modern-day girl wants a man who is controlling, mean, cruel, obsessive, bitter, immature, bullying, rather frightening, and kind of creepy. And frankly, this disturbs me. Granted, these are only a few men girls “squee” over. I know there are plenty of girls who are also “totally in love with” the likes of Aragorn, Harry, Jack Sparrow, etc. However, there are more than enough Erik/Draco/Snape fan-girls out there to give me adequate reason for concern. Perhaps they see something in these characters I do not. But if this is what today’s girl looks for in a guy, then, quite honestly, I fear for the future of mankind.

Comments

[figs-133.livejournal.com]

One (and only one) reason Erik is sexy: He has a great voice and an astonishing evil laugh. In the original Broadway Cast performances.

Ahhh controlling, mean, cruel, obsessive, bitter, immature, bullying, rather frightening, and kind of creepy men...

[trinsy-fics.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, but of course Erik has a great voice! I mean, a) it's a freakin' opera, and b) he's the Phantom of the Opera. Still doesn't make him any less of a psychopath, though...

Ahhh yes, just what we all want :P

[avonleigh.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on most levels of this, particularly that which concerns Erik. I mean seriously, what a psychopath.

But yeah, I would never become fangirlish over Draco or Snape either [although a)I still have my doubts as to Snape's being totally evil, and b)Alan Rickman is a whole other story]. However, I wouldn't be fangirlish over Harry or Ron either [And if I were Hermione I wouldn't go for either one]. Especially if we're going on the whole 'not really a man' thing we're applying to Draco here. *shudders*

Of course, I suppose everyone still has one more book to prove himself...

I love you. *hugs*

[*runs off to hide from Hermione/Ron shippers* *and the Hermione/Harry shippers, just for good measure*]

[figs-133.livejournal.com]

[*not to mention all the swooning Erik fangirls*]

[trinsy-fics.livejournal.com]

*shakes head at both of you*