Flashbacks

[trinsy]

You know how in movies, such as The Borne Identity, the main character will see something or hear something, and then they'll have a flashback, indicated by an image/voice flashing on the screen/in the speakers?  Well, I don't know about you, but always thought that was something that didn't happen in real life, that it was just a movie thing.  You know, the flashing images/voices.  However, after this afternoon, I can most definitely assure you that it does happen in real life.

You see, I went over to Christi's house this afternoon to work on a Government project (fun, fun times *gags*).  And to make a long story really, really short, one of her friends has a really bad home situtation, and has therefore been living with Christi's family for the past month, and while I was over there a situtation that had arisen climaxed, and this girl's mother and stepdad showed up at the house, and everyone was in the kitchen yelling at each other.  In the midst of all this, I slipped into Christi's brother's room (he's at college, so it wasn't like it was awkward to go in there), which is off the kitchen, which of course means I could still hear everyone yelling at each other, but at least I was out of the line of fire.  So anyway, I was sitting on this couch in the room, listening to stuff they were saying, and these parents were such (for lack of a better word) bastards, and as I was listening to them it brought back all these memories of my dad (which were not good memories, but did make me thankful they were not as horrible as what this girl is going through), and I kept getting these movie-like flashbacks of the two (yes, only two) really honest conversations I ever had with him, and it was just like... whoa.  I can't really explain it any other way.

You know, it's funny, because since I was eight (well, really, my whole life, but technically since I was eight) I haven't really had a dad.  I mean, I haven't even seen or spoken to him for two years.  But it's only been in the last few weeks that I've started to feel that it's weird.  I mean, here it is, almost eight years later -- he hasn't been around for almost half my life -- and I'm just now starting to feel like I'm missing something.  And it's just so... bizarre for me.  Because I've never really felt different.  And I still honestly don't believe I'm different.  No, that's not accurate.  I know I'm not different.  I've heard and seen so many things over the past sixteen years that I am convinced that I'm normal.  It's just that now, for the first time, I'm feeling that it's weird to be normal.

Comments

[avonleigh.livejournal.com]

I love you, so, so much.

I'm also glad that we didn't have to live through what Christi's friend is going through.

I'm... not sure I'd agree with you on the whole normal thing. Well... maybe what I think is that not having a dad has caused a part of us to be shattered. And I think that every single person on the planet has a part of them shattered, so I guess if you define normalcy in the sense of likeness, then yeah, we're "normal." But if you define normalcy in the sense of how things ought to be, then we're different. Does that make sense?

Either way, I'm not sure it changes much.

[trinsy-fics.livejournal.com]

By "normal" I mean the majority of people are like that, and by "that" I mean single parent households, because the majority of people where we live, anyway, live in single parent households. I do not think that is how things ought to be, of course, which is why I say that I feel it's "weird" to be "normal".

[avonleigh.livejournal.com]

aha. it's alllllll so clear now.

{hurry up and tell the story; my head's startin' to sweat}