“Who am I? WHO AM I?”

[trinsy]

Okay, so I’m really over all these diary fanfics where the person writing the diary feels the need to introduce themselves.  I mean, seriously, people do not introduce themselves in their own freakin diaries!  I’m so annoyed about this that I’m thinking of writing a one-shot about it.  Okay, so I’ve gone beyone thinking about it, I’ve written the first part, but I’m not sure it’s that great of an idea.  And also, I have no clue where to go with it now.  That being said, here’s what I’ve written so far:

September 1^st

 

     What a day, what a day it’s been!  Who am I, you might be asking?  Don’t be stupid, of course you’re not asking that, because you are a diary, a booklet of lifeless pages, and, as everyone knows, inanimate objects do not ask questions.  If you’re that curious, you can just guess, because I’m not going to tell you who I am.  This is for two main reasons:

 

1.     Inanimate objects, as I have already mentioned, do not care who writes on them, and

2.     Normal people do not, generally, feel a need to introduce themselves in their diaries, because,

a.      their diaries do not care, and

b.     the fact that it is a diary implies that the only person reading it would be the author, and the author obviously has no need to introduce herself to herself because she already knows herself, unless of course she doesn’t know herself, in which case she couldn’t very well introduce herself, because she wouldn’t know who she was introducing.  And if anyone else is reading the diary, they should already know who the author is, or else they shouldn’t be reading it.

 

I mean honestly, what do you think this is, a freaking novel?  That’s right, I’m talking to you, H –– Whoops, almost gave away my identity there!