trinsy: (home)
Take the first post from every month this year, and then take the first sentence of said post.  Arrange them in order (i.e. Jan, Feb, Mar, etc.), and that is how your year went.  Afterwards, describe if it was accurate or not.

So today I achieved one of my life ambitions and passed out. I have decided that my new pet peeve is people who think Texas is always hot. I am so, so sick of not understanding school. I OFFICIALLY HATE RUSSEL T. DAVIES! Am currently sitting in a uni computer lab. Dear Disney, Do you hear that? Words cannot express how happy I am that The Tales of Beedle the Bard is being published for the public!!! So I've been at school four days ... and the panic's come. It would not be a lie to say that my roommate has the coolest car on campus. Can we just talk about how adorable David Mitchell and Robert Webb are? "A Married State" by Katherine Philips. So I spent Thanksgiving with Kira and her family, and you know what?

This is actually a surprisingly accurate representation of my year, especially through May.  I tend to use rhetorical questions a lot, it seems, and am probably way too invested in British television.  Ah well.
trinsy: (grin)
So today I was on Facebook and I randomly decided to click on the Wall-to-Wall between two of my flatmates from Scotland, and I saw this:

"By the way our random fricking frenchy [by which I take to mean that they now have a random French student living with them] is playing his guitar and singing. I mean the rudeness of it all. I want Trinity back!"

This made me ridiculously happy for reasons I can't even explain.
trinsy: (I can see that)
Today as I was coming back from town, I passed these five Jr. High-ish girls, and one of them was pushing a stroller.  In the stroller was not a small child nor a puppy nor any other living creature.  No, in the stroller was a stereo so they could listen to music while they walked around.  Not even joking.  That was the whole point of the stroller.  To which the only possible response is: LOLWHUT?

Also, earlier, I was in M&S buying cookies for my uncle, but I was also buying - er - certain Doctor Who-related items, and the cashier asked me, "Oh, who's the Doctor Who fan?"  I would like to make it very clear that at the time I was wearing the sweatshirt my sister gave me for Christmas -- AKA The Greatest Sweatshirt Ever Made -- which says on the back, "The angels have the phonebox", which is a line from the Doctor Who episode 'Blink'.  This also means I had a picture of a TARDIS plastered over my left boob.  Obviously the Doctor Who fan is me!  But, amusingly in my opinion, I was so taken aback by the question that I answered, "Oh, my sister," without thinking.  And, I mean, she is the person I was buying the stuff for, so it was true, but the saleslady gave me a weird look when I said it, so maybe she noticed the TARDIS splashed across my chest after all.
trinsy: (physics)
Philosophy final went okay this morning, although my concision once again bit me in the butt since I only wrote four paragraphs per question and it was recommended that we write six to seven.  But dude, I answered the questions fully, which is what matters.  It was really annoying, though, because I thought I was going to get a table to myself but then this kid came at the last minute and sat next to me, and then the table shook when he was writing.  Which, like, I'm sure that was annoying for him when I was writing, but he chose to sit at an occupied table, you know?  It was also really awkward because one time in lecture this same kid sat next to me and kept talking to me until I was finally like, "Dude, shut up, I'm trying to hear what the lecturer is saying so I can figure out what's going on!"  Except I said it a little nicer.  But he was really annoying.  Anyway, today when I finished my answers and got up to hand them in, he said something to me, but I couldn't understand what it was because he was whispering/mumbling, so I was like, "Sorry?" and he may or may not have said, "Never mind."  Whatever.  I gave him an awkward smile and left.  Thinking about it later, I think he may have been wishing me luck on the exam, in which case, um, it's a little late now, buddy, since I've already finished it.  But it was nice of him, I guess...

After the exam I went to the mall and bought some more Torchwood books (yay!) since I'm going mad with boredom here.  Now I should glance over my Sociology notes before settling in with the amazing-ness that is all things Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones.
trinsy: (physics)
I'm so over exams.  I had my History exam yesterday morning ... and I failed.  Like, literally failed.  Because we had to answer two questions, and I didn't know anything about the second question at all, so I was like, "Well, I could just not answer and be blatant about the fact that I have no clue, or I could B.S. a couple paragraphs and it will still be obvious that I have no clue.  With option one I can leave the exam half-an-hour early."  So I just left the second part totally blank.  I can't even bring myself to care that much.  At least it's over.

I have Philosophy tomorrow, which I'm not overly concerned about because if I have what I think I have in the class then I can bomb the exam and still pass.  I shouldn't bomb it, though, because unlike in History, I actually know what's going on.  I've given my notes a cursory glance over, and now I'm going to give The Sarah Jane Adventures a try.  This is my study method.  Glance over, then relax.  I've never hardcore studied in my life.  I don't know how, and it doesn't work for me anyway.  I think I'm just that kind of person where I either know it or I don't.

Friday I have Sociology.  The good thing about Sociology is that I will only have to answer one question instead of two (unlike History and Philosophy).  I've got a pretty good handle on Sexuality, and I know Crime a bit, so I should be able to answer at least one of those questions, and again scrape a pass.  All I care about is passing, since this doesn't go on my GPA anyway.  I've worked out how to make up History online if I flunk, though obviously I hope it doesn't come to that.  But yeah, I'm just want this week to be over so I can relax and enjoy the rest of my time here.  I still need to go up to Edinburgh and scout out Tom Riddle's grave!

Also, I'm very annoyed that Doctor Who has been switched to a later time, as well as I'd Do Anything.  But I'm glad that Ashley has finally been sent home!  If Andrew had chosen to save her, I would have been very upset with him!  Oh, but I'm also annoyed that the finale of I'd Do Anything is 1 June, the day after I leave!  Seriously, what up with that?
trinsy: (jack/ianto)
So my friend Liz is coming to visit me in Scotland this weekend. She's staying until Wednesday. She was supposed to come tonight, but her flight was cancelled, so she's coming tomorrow night instead. Is it bad that I'm happy? Probably.

Also, on Monday I went to the mall and there was a 3 for 2 sale on Torchwood books, so I bought all three from Series 2. I just finished the last one, 'Twilight Streets'. It was the best one, so I'm glad I read it last. It was full of Jack/Ianto goodness! I think at some parts I totally forgot how to breathe! *sigh* I miss Torchwood. Like, a lot. I miss Jack/Ianto. Can Ianto please, please be in the Doctor Who finale? Everyone else is!

Also, yesterday I was reading 'Something in the Water', which is another Torchwood book, and in it all these people got a weird alien disease that started out as a sore throat, and this morning I woke up with a sore throat, and now I'm paranoid. I took some airborne, though, and it seems to be going away. Maybe it was just because I left my window open all night. But if it is an alien disease, can Jack and Ianto come save me? And bring the Doctor and Donna with them? Because even if they didn't have a cure, it would still make my entire life.
trinsy: (ha!)
I just put on Rainbows for the first time in nearly three months.

It feels glorious!

ETA: I walked to the mall in my Rainbows this afternoon. I now have a blister on my big toe. I am not happy.
trinsy: (bovvered)
Am currently sitting in a uni computer lab.  Am sitting across from a girl who is having a conversation with her friend in her 'opposite sides of a football field' voice.  Am very, very annoyed.  Suspected she was American as she does not have a thick accent.  Have discovered she is British (possibly Scottish, but the accent is so slight it's difficult to tell).  Am still annoyed.
trinsy: (hug)
In high school, I didn't really have friends.  I mean, I had friends in the sense that there was a group of certain people that I always sat with in class and at lunch and hung out with at school events.  But I didn't do stuff with them outside school; in the summer I never saw any of them, so in the summer I effectively didn't have friends.  It would be a lie to say this didn't bother me, but by high school I was too used to being on my own most of the time to be overly fussed about it.  In fact, in high school I actually had more of a life then I'd ever had before, so even though it bothered me that no one ever invited me to the weekend gatherings, it wasn't like I felt like I'd suddenly become a reject (and I wasn't a reject, just forgettable; there is a difference).

Probably the biggest adjustment I had to make in college was having friends.  I mean, it was very bizarre for me to suddenly have people outside my immediate family actually genuinely care if I was sick or sad or didn't turn up for dinner.  It was weird for me to have people come into my room and ask if I wanted to do something that weekend, and even weirder when they seemed genuinely disappointed if I said I was going home.  Even more bizarre: I wasn't the forgettable one anymore.  There actually is a forgettable girl in my group of friends, and I can never get over how it's not me.  Over the summer these girls called me, planned a trip with me, and pestered me if I didn't update them about what was going on in my life.  It was all very new and weird for me (in a good way), and I honestly don't have any idea how it happened because a huge reason I didn't have friends previously is because I don't know how to make them.

That brings me to my point: I don't have friends here in Scotland.  I actually have friends to a lesser degree here than I did in high school.  I mean, the classes are all so huge that it's basically impossible to have "class friends"; and while my flatmates are all nice and I get along with them, hanging out with them is awkward, and I don't really interact with them beyond the occasional friendly greeting in the corridor.  Basically, it's like high school all over again, minus the chats at lunch and the in-class banter, and also minus my mom bugging me to get off the computer when I'm home.

This doesn't really bother me.  Do I wish I had friends here?  Yes, of course.  Am I miserable because I don't?  Far from it.  I couldn't take more than a semester here for a variety of reasons, the biggest of which is not the lack of friends.  That said, I don't regret my decision to come here this semester, and in some senses I'm less miserable here than I am at my home university (certainly in the sense that here I don't cry myself to sleep every night (or any night, for that matter)).  I only have one problem:

I don't know how to explain any of this to my friends from home.  I've basically given them general, evasive, and I'll admit misleading updates about my time here because I don't know how to tell them that a.) I don't have friends here, and b.) that's okay.  I'm used to being on my own, and in some senses I prefer it (and it's probably where I get the attitude my friends have told me they both hate and admire so much: No one who's not an authority figure in my life is going to tell me what to do!).  It's not like it wouldn't be nice to friends here, but I don't require friends.  I can get by on my own.

Normally, I wouldn't even worry about it, I'd just keep giving them the misleading updates over the next two months and avoid giving them specifics when I see them in August -- hey, it worked all summer! -- but I've encountered a huge problem.  One of my friends is coming to visit me here next month.  And yes, I've basically led her to believe that I have friends here.  And I don't.  Crap.  Because what am I supposed to do now, go find friends the last two weeks of classes?  How's that going to work?  But I don't know how to tell her that I don't actually have friends here because this is the one girl who is still in close contact with her high school friends (even my friends who had real friends in high school don't really talk to them anymore); this is the one girl who I know will never understand that it's okay for me not to have friends.  I don't even know what to do because I'll never be able to explain it to her but it's not like I can go get fake friends to show her, you know?  And honestly, I'm tired of having to lie about not having friends.  I just wish I could level with someone in real life, you know?
trinsy: (stubborn)
There are a few things I don't understand.

1. Why are there girls walking around outside in shorts and tanktops when it's 45ºF?

2. Why is British television so much better than American television? (Actually, this one is fairly easy to work out, but the answer involves a lot of cynicism on my part about the mental capacities of my countrymen.)

3. Why do my British flatmates insist on watching crappy American TV shows such as The O.C. and One Tree Hill instead of brilliant British shows such as Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Extras?

It truly boggles the mind.  I don't think I'll ever understand this country.
trinsy: (pest control)
I never ever thought I would miss the MLA format!  But that was before there was ... no format at all.  Just the lovely advice, "You will be marked down for poor presentation."

At least with MLA there is a right way!  At least with MLA you can grab your Wadsworth Handbook and make sure you're not doing it wrong.  How can you know if you're doing it wrong if there's no way to do it right?  I don't understand this school system at all!  Everyone only takes one subject, and class is optional, and there are no set texts, and there's no set essay format!  How do people ever graduate here?  How do you know what to change your major to if you don't have to take GEs?  How do you ever get the motivation to go to class if attendence isn't mandatory?  How do you know what to study for the tests if there's no set text?  How do you know how to format your essay if there are no set guidelines on how to format your essay?

I mean, I wouldn't care if they used APA or some other format I've never even heard of as long as there actually was a format.  Because it's not just about how wide to make the margins or how to format the header or if there should even be a header or what font I should put it in.  It's like, there's no set way to cite things; there's no set way to format a bibliography.  THERE IS NOTHING!  Just, "You will be marked down for improper citation."  How is there improper citation if there is no proper citation?  What the hell is wrong with this university?

I never thought I'd miss America so much...
trinsy: (know it all)
I am so, so sick of not understanding school.

I know this sounds really arrogant, but I've never not understood school before.  (This is probably due in no small part to the fact that the subjects I don't understand -- such as physics, chemistry, and calculus -- I simply didn't take.)  Maybe I'm not the top student in the class, but I've always been able to grasp the subject enough to get a decent grade.  I've never sat in a class and thought, "Wow, I have absolutely no clue what's going on."

Until this semester, when I am now sitting in all three of my classes thinking it.

I don't know which one I'm most frustrated about not understanding.  History is annoying because it's such a black and white subject -- this happened at this time because of this person/group of people.  But in this History class it's impossible for me to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning because it's like they already expect me to know everything anyway.  Which, um, if I already knew it, I wouldn't be taking this class.  It doesn't help that there's no set text, either.  They just gave us a book list and were like, "Read a couple books from that.  That one is about facts, that one is about ideas, that one has theories behind people's motives.  Just read whichever one you feel you'll get the most out of."  Um, what?  Which one is going to be on the exam?  Because that's the one I'm going to read.  It's not like I'm taking History for fun!

Which I think might be the whole problem, because Gen Eds are evidently a foreign concept here.  For example, in my Philosphy tutorial we each had to state why we were taking the class, and I said, "I'm taking it because my university requires it, and I figured I may as well take it here."  And all the natives were like, shocked that I was required to take Philosophy.  I tried to explain that it was one of many classes I'm required to take, but they all looked blank.  So I guess here if you take a class, you are taking it for fun, or you're taking it for your major, but either way I guess you're expected to be interested in the subject.  Which is a hugely foreign concept to me.

Sociology is also a really frustrating subject because I feel like I could understand it if it weren't taught in a monsterous lecture hall and/or the lecturers would speak in a volume louder than Whispering Wind.  And for the record, I'm sitting in the third row.  It doesn't help.  Sociology also doesn't have a set text because the exams are notes/lecture based, but the notes make about as much sense as what I can hear in the lectures: NONE AT ALL.  It didn't make me feel any better when I expressed my confusion to one of my flatmates and she said, "Well, Sociology is mostly common sense."  I HAVE COMMON SENSE, DAMN IT!  If Sociology is common sense, I should understand it!

I think perhaps the most frustrating subject, however, is Philosophy, because for the first week I actually thought I understood what was going on, and this appears to be becoming a pattern.  I think I understand what's going on in the lectures, but then I go to tutorial on Friday and my tutor asks a stupid question like, "What is a fact?" and then I get really confused.  And the more my tutor tries to explain the concepts -- concepts that I actually understood before tutorial -- the less they make sense.  My only comfort is that the guy I sit next to feels the exact same way, so at least I know it's not just me.  But still, there is something inherently wrong with a subject that makes less sense the more you explain it.

What I really want to know is if the problem is that I just happened to take three subjects I don't understand at the same time, or if I don't understand the subjects because of the way they're taught in Scotland.  Because if the problem is that I don't understand them in Scotland then that's a huge problem, because that means I have to stay in America the rest of my life, because you know what?  I am an intellectual snob, and I can't bring myself to live in a country where I'm stupid!  I just can't.  And maybe that's horrible, but I don't care, because I do not want to spend the rest of my life as confused and frustrated as I am this semester!
trinsy: (last words)

I'm just going to come out and say that I am officially sick of it raining all the time!  I'm sick of getting soaked walking to class, I'm sick of having to pay for the bloody bus, and I'm sick of not being able to go to Tesco because my food will get wet on the way home!  I'm sick of not having car, I'm sick of having to wear wellies, and I'm sick of school not making sense!  I'm sick of everything being twice as expensive, sick of not being able to shower every day, and sick of not understanding people's accents!  I'm sick of not having TiVo, sick of not being able to watch American TV on the internet, and sick of waiting for Doctor Who!  I'm sick of craving burriots, sick of bland pasta, and sick of not being able to find decent snack food!

I am officially sick of Scotland.

June 2013

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