trinsy: (are you my mummy?)
  • We're watching clips from Star Wars and Harry Potter. If it weren't at night and the homework weren't so stupid, this would be the best class EVER.
  • Also, the Star Wars movie we're watching is Phantom Menace, and the special effects are hilariously awful. [Random Fact: Phantom Menace came out the same year as Prisoner of Azkaban, the book we are reading in this class. Also, I was ten then.]
  • Prof: "Let's not talk about what happens to Hedwig in the last book."
    Class: *sympathetic groan of sorrow*
  • My next computer is definitely going to be named Remus. And my iPad (I'm waiting a year for them to work out all the kinks, but I'm totally going to have an iPad) is going to be named Spock. Because Spock and Remus would totally get along. Just saying.
  • People, if you haven't finished the Harry Potter series by now, you deserve to be spoiled. Seriously, it's been three years. You should have been on that by now.
  • Every time my prof brings up Sirius, I want to cry. You'd think I'd be over it by now (holy crap! it's been almost seven years), but apparently not. This also happens every time Fred turns up in the book. (I haven't read a Harry Potter book since I read Deathly Hallows when it first came out. This is what college does to you.)
  • My prof just assaulted me and Edmund, demanding to know how I feel about Snape and his story arc. Awkward yet awesome.
  • Prof: "I won't talk about what happens to Fred and George in the end."
    Class: *moan of sorrow* D:
  • My prof wants us to walk around campus saying, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I love him.
  • There are people in this class who have never read PoA. How do these people exist?
trinsy: (bovvered)
Look, Professor of my Fantasy Lit class,

If I think your questions about Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - a book that is not only my favorite in the Harry Potter series, but also one of my Top 5 Favorite Books of All Time, and is probably my second most reread book, outstripped only by The Horse and His Boy (which I once read over a dozen times in a year) - if I think your questions about it are too hard, THEY ARE TOO HARD!

- Collect as much information as you can on hippogriffs and write a summary of their representation in classic literature.
- What is the importance of names of people in Harry Potter. What do they signify? Make a list of names and meanings.
- Make a list of all the magical objects/creature(s) found and what they do.

To clarify: this is a lower division, general education course. These questions are in lieu of the daily quizzes this kind of course usually has to ensure students are reading. A quiz would not require outside research! Even fifteen-year-old me would be pissed off by these questions, and fifteen-year-old me lived and breathed Harry Potter.

Thank god for mugglenet and the lexicon (and thank god fifteen-year-old me was a Harry Potter nerd so that I know about mugglenet and the lexicon), that's all I'm saying.
trinsy: (physics)
The way I will totally prepare to go to class - pack my bag, brush my teeth, put on my shoes, etc. - and then decide, 'Eh, screw it,' as I am turning to lock my door is probably one of my favorite things about senioritis.
trinsy: (don't be so daft)
I just put all my books for classes this semester, plus the ones I kept from last semester, on my shelf to see how crazy-ridiculous it looks to be a lit major. It actually doesn't look as crazy-ridiculous as I expected, and now I'm just annoyed that all my books are different sizes. Disappointing.
trinsy: (grin)
Um, so I kind of got 101% on my Linguistics test. Yay!

Seriously, this is a huge deal for me because that class is basically like one giant WTF? moment for me, although it's not always for the same reason. Like, half the time the professor is like, "To turn a declarative sentence into a yes/no question, move the auxiliary to the front of the sentence," and I'm like, WTF, I know, because I grew up speaking English; is this first grade? But then the other half of the time the professor is like, "Okay everyone, do a tree diagram of a passive sentence," and everyone starts diagraming, and I'm like, WTF is a tree diagram? Should I know this? Are they having secret class sessions without me?

But, as I was telling my mom, apparently knowing what's going on isn't really important in this class because it really isn't holding me back. Because, yeah, 101% on the first exam. Which is just kind of awesome.
trinsy: (I came back)
We are not our parents. We live in a different world - one where college degrees are common, jobs rare, and marriage optional. One where there's not as much pressure to stick to one path for the rest of your life. One where you aren't necessarily expected to be married and popping out kids by the time you're twenty-four. One that is a bit less limited and a whole lot scarier. We are not our parents. We can't be, and we need to stop trying.

I keep having to remind myself of that. I've got one semester of college to go, and I'm terrified. When my mom was my age, she was married and had a career path in mind and knew what she wanted to do with her life. And you know what? I don't know what I want to do with my life. I haven't got a clue, and even if I did, I haven't got a shot at a career with my current qualifications (or lack thereof), and I couldn't be further from marriage if I joined a nunnery. And everyone tells me this is fine, I'm young and it's good to have my options open. The world is my oyster. I can do anything I want, have anything I want.

You know what I want right now? Stability. Security. I want to go to bed at night with the assurance that I won't spend the rest of my life living hand-to-mouth in some studio apartment working a minimum wage job. Sure, it's nice that I have "options", except that isn't one of them. I don't have a guarantee of anything: career, job, family, house, nothing! If the world is my oyster, it's one that's keeping tightly shut. I'm secretly an optimist, so I'm about 90% sure there's a pearl in there somewhere (on a good day; on a bad day I'm convinced there's nothing but sand), but I don't know what it looks like or how to get it. I'm scared and directionless and you know what? Sometimes I wish I lived in the world of my parents, because maybe if there'd been more pressure on me to find some direction at this point in my life, I'd have worked harder and discovered something I could do for the rest of my life, even if it didn't make me completely happy.

That's the problem with our world, really. We've been conditioned to reject anything that won't make us happy. I know I couldn't live with myself if I ever settled for less. But honestly? Sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes I wish I could settle, because frankly, I haven't been happy for twenty years. I know I can deal with that. And maybe it'd be okay if I were suffering for my passions, but I'm not. I don't even know what my passions are! I don't even know if I have any! But I've been conditioned to not betray them, even if they only exist in theory, so I'm unhappy and directionless and passionless and poor and terrified, and I can't even guarantee I'll get anything out of it.
trinsy: (physics)
So finals? Actually going a lot better than I would expect, all things considered. I mean, I already have two out of four papers written, which for me is pretty amazing. All credit, of course, is due to my amazing and awesome roommate, who dragged me to Starbucks and wouldn't stop giving me disappointed looks until I cracked and actually started doing homework. What did I ever do without her, seriously?

Of course, I also spent an hour today that I was supposed to be working on a paper writing fanfic. Because of course I can never be inspired when I have plenty of leisure time, but only during the most stressful times of the school year, like midterms and finals. I really like what I wrote, though, only it's from Ron's POV, and I've never written him before (I generally stay from Trio fics in general because there's so much canon stuff), and I'm worried I've made him too introspective. But it is set a good few years after he's had kids, so I figure it's not that much of a stretch. At least, I hope so. And come 12:30 Thursday, I will be FREE for three whole weeks, and I'll be able to fine tune it and stuff. So now I just need to survive until then.
trinsy: (bovvered)
The most depressing part of all the friend drama I've had to deal with in college is knowing it doesn't get any less stupid the older you get. If anything, it only gets worse. Forget high school, elementary school never ends!
trinsy: (I can see that)
Dear Muse,

While I appreciate you showing up again after your six month sabbatical, it actually would have been nice if you'd waited until after midterms to come back.

I really don't have time to focus on character development and sibling dynamics, much as I wish I did. I have seven papers and two midterms to write, plzkthnxbye. Yes, I kind of want to kill myself, but you are not helping!

Love and frustration,
trinsy: (hug)
Reason #8943 That I Have The Best Roommate in the Universe:

When I have a totally unexpected "Oh-my-god-no-one-has-found-me-attractive-since-I-was-thirteen-except-people-with-questionable-hygiene-why-am-I-so-hideous-WOE!" self-esteem crisis the night before she has a test, rather than abandoning me to my ridiculous emo, she not only stops studying to listen to me, but she actually explains why I have this issue in a way that not only makes me feel better about myself but actually makes sense. That's right, she answered a question I've been trying to find the answer to for over six years, and she did it without lying to me and without blaming it on me and making me feel like crap! Because she is the most awesome person the universe, basically.
trinsy: (bovvered)
Argh, I am so fucking frustrated right now!

See, I have to write this research paper on Jane Eyre. Which is fine, whatever, because there are actually a ton of resources on Jane Eyre, except none of them are about what I want to write about and I don't actually agree with any of them. Because I really don't care what a bunch of academics say, Jane Eyre isn't a feminist novel, it's a stupid story about stupid people being stupid about the stupid problems they have because they're stupid! That's how I feel, and no number of articles arguing otherwise is going to change my mind.

Okay, so Jane refuses to be Rochester's mistress. Bully for her. You know, he's only tried to trick her into bigamy because, to paraphrase, "I knew if I told you the truth, you wouldn't marry me, and I wanted to marry you because I love you so much, so I didn't tell you the truth, but now that it's come out accidentally, even though I tried to trick you into doing something I knew you wouldn't want to do, will you be my mistress anyway?" And then when she refuses, he physically assaults her. Yeah, I can't imagine why she runs away from him after that. </ sarcasm>

Having said that, when she does run away, she does it in the most idiotic way possible. Yeah, I get that she doesn't have time to contact her uncle or gather money or whatever, but at least take your jewelry to hock along the way. My god, woman, do you have any idea how to be fugitive? What the hell is your plan?

And then - and then - she finds these long lost cousins (and let's not even get into how convenient that is) and her guy cousin is a total controlling asshole, and she lets him control her. "Oh, I want to learn German but you want me to learn Hindustani even though that will be of absolutely no use to me in the life I've planned for myself? Guess I'll learn Hindustani then." Wow, what a strong, independent woman! </ sarcasm> And the only reason she doesn't give in to said asshole cousin's demand that she marry him and become a missionary with him (and in the proposal he not only insults her in every possible manner but attempts to emotionally blackmail her by telling her she'll be damned to hell if she doesn't do what he says)? Because she hears the voice of Rochester! That's right, she doesn't give in to one manipulative bastard because the hold of another is stronger! Hurrah for women being able to think for themselves! (And that's not even talking about how afterward she hopes her bastard cousin will forgive her, even though she has nothing to be forgiven for and he should be the one begging her for forgiveness!)

And then she goes back to Rochester and immediately starts back into referring to him, even in her head, as her "master", which is way creepy, and he's all, "Why did you run away? I know I said I would break you in half if you didn't comply with my demands, but I only said it because I'm so in love with you! Of course I would never hurt you (even though I totally did)! I was so worried about you! Why didn't you just trust me?!?!" Oh gee, I can't imagine! Maybe because you tried to trick her into bigamy? I mean, just possibly. Also, great, so in real life, Rochester is totally the guy who beats his wife and then cries about it and blames it on her. Awesome. Yeah, this one epic love story right here! </ sarcasm>

And you know what? I get it. I get that it's fiction, which means when Rochester says he's reformed, he probably has. But in real life, that doesn't happen. In real life, Rochester is so very much the guy you don't want to date. I can make that distinction, but a lot of people can't, and it disturbs me. It's what disturbs me about Twilight and The Notebook and a lot of other "Epic Love Stories" that in real life would be very bad news. And it's why I have a problem with Jane Eyre being held up as this paragon of feminism when in real life we'd probably be trying to get her into counseling for Battered Wife Syndrome ASAP.

But the most frustrating part is that I can't write any of that for my research paper because I can't find any research that fucking agrees with me! Because everyone thinks Jane Eyre is this amazing feminist declaration. And you know what? It isn't!
trinsy: (ha!)

I'm going to a FREE Jason Mraz concert in two weeks! School in San Diego for the fucking WIN!

And on a completely different note, fuck you and your new Safari, Apple! In what world would I ever want this? If I wanted to use Firefox, I would be using fucking Firefox! I hate myself for not thinking before I updated!
trinsy: (bovvered)
Dear Guys Across the Alley,

Die in a fire.

(Obviously please don't actually die in a fire, because I will feel terrible, but maybe use your guitars and bongo drums as kindling next time you have a beach bonfire or something? Also, dudes, you cannot sing! Please spare the world and give up now.

Also, any time after 11PM is NOT an appropriate time to play guitar and wailsing with your patio door/windows open, regardless of whether or not you possess any actual talent. Yes, I will continue to call Public Safety on you until you stop, and no, I don't care if you think I'm a bitch.)
trinsy: (I can see that)
I've figured out why I hate Jane Eyre. Or rather, I've figured out why I hate Jane Eyre so much more than my classmates. In fact, I think I've figured out why people think I hate men.

See here's the issue:

I've never liked Cinderella. I mean, I've NEVER liked Cinderella. As in, even as a four-year-old kid I hated it. I hated it because I didn't understand it. I didn't understand why Cinderella was such a doormat. I didn't understand why she let her stepmother enslave her. The only version of the Cinderella story I genuinely like is Ella Enchanted (the book, not the film, obviously) because that actually makes sense.

This is my problem. This has always been my problem. I don't understand how slavery works. As in, I learned about the events leading up to the Civil War back in fifth grade, and I didn't understand why, if there were so many more slaves than plantation owners, the slaves didn't just burn down the owner's house or something.

The same goes for Stockholm and Battered Wife Syndromes. I mean, I'm educated, okay? Intellectually, I understand the psychology behind all of those things. But I still don't get it. I don't think I'll ever get it.

Guilt trips, emotional blackmail, reverse psychology, peer pressure -- they all don't work on me. Not really. It's like, whatever part of the brain it is that causes people to act and react in these twisted ways is disconnected in me. It doesn't work. I just don't get it.

It's like when I was a kid and my parents split up and people would say to me, "You know it's not your fault, right?" And I'd be like, "Duh! Why would it be? I wasn't married to them." And I always felt like kids who did think their parents' divorce was their fault were stupid.

And that's the problem with Jane Eyre. I think she's stupid. The End. Yes, she's starved for love, and yes, Rochester is the first man she's really ever met (who counts, I mean), and yes, she's constricted by her time and class and whatever, I don't care, she's still a MORON! Intellectually, yes, I know why she does the things she does. But I still don't get it. It makes no sense to me.

I cannot comprehend letting someone treat you that way. I cannot comprehend allowing someone to make you feel that way. I literally cannot comprehend it. I just can't wrap my mind around it all. It doesn't make sense to me.

And to people who think this is some backlash from my dad or whatever: Guess what? It's not. Because I've always hated Cinderella. It has nothing to do with being angry or hating men or anything like that. It's just that a part of my brain doesn't work (or a part of my brain actually does?).

And you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that.
trinsy: (physics)
My Day Thus Far:

- get up
- catch up with roommates
- go on a walk
- take shower
- eat breakfast
- start laundry
- go to chapel
- throw laundry in dryer
- do homework
- fold laundry
- remake bed
- clean room
- go to class
- go to library
- go to lunch

Things I Still Must Accomplish Before Bed:

- homework
- grading

Just to point out, everything before 'go to class' happened before noon. Because I'm awesome like that. Despite this, why does that list make it look like I've had a totally productive day, but I still feel like I've accomplished nothing? To wit:

My Remaining Homework for Tomorrow:

- read 50 pages in The God of Small Things
- read essay on Shakespeare's Richard III
- write two page paper summarizing essay
- read "The Clerk's Tale" from The Canterbury Tales
- read six chapters of Jane Eyre

Also, for the grading, not only are there forty-eight people in that class, it's apparently that magical time of year again when the professor I grade for decides that I no longer need to a key to assist me. Or rather, for an eleven question quiz, the "key" he provided me with consists of a mini post-it note that reads "#10 = heartache". Oh, okay then. And the answers for 1-9 and 11 I will magically know on my own. See, the problem is that he never gave me keys last year, and I still had them graded within a week and none of his students ever complained about their quiz grades, so he thinks it's fine. I mean, I never gave him any reason to think it actually was a problem for me not to have keys, so he doesn't see a need to give them to me. And now I've set myself up as too awesome to be able to go ask for them. In other words, it doesn't actually pay to be awesome at your job.

Right. Doing that huge pile of homework now.
trinsy: (bovvered)
Dear "James",

I am not going to go to graduate school for literature. In fact, I am probably not going to go to graduate school at all. I am therefore not interested in simulating it in the "microcosm" of your undergraduate course.

Also, I still don't want to call you by your first name. It's weird.

Please look into this,


In other news, I successfully solidified my standing as a total nerd in my Medieval class today by accidentally showing that yes, I get passionate about gender issues, but if you really want to get me excited, tie our reading back to Harry Potter. Apparently this will cause me to grin at you for five minutes like a very, very creepy moron. Er, sorry about that, classmates.

Also, I'm pretty sure my Women Writers professor is like, "WTF, what happened to you?" at me, because last semester I was super quiet in her class and when I did speak I was a total moron (I was, I never had a clue what was going on, I winged [wung?] that whole class), and now I'm all passionate and all, "Mr. Rochester is a jerk, and Jane needs to either go for it or get over it, and I don't feel bad for people with that much self-loathing, so there." I mean, I think she likes it, but I'm pretty sure she also thinks I must have changed dramatically over the summer. Which I didn't, really. I just actually care about her class now, that's all.
trinsy: (I can see that)
 Dear People Who Sit Next To Me And Whisper Random Comments,

75% of the time, I have absolutely no idea what you just said to me.  I'm only nodding and laughing because 95% of the time, that's the response you're looking for.

Please either enunciate and speak louder, or shut up.  Your choice.
trinsy: (are you my mummy?)
You know, school becomes significantly less stressful when you stop actually caring.

Which has taken me, let's see, all of two weeks to do.

Which is even more pathetic when you take into account that this is probably the second longest I've lasted.  *snerk* That's what he said!
trinsy: (bovvered)
Dear Guys Across the Alley,

I think it's awesome that you all like to hang out together. I think it's awesome that you're musically inclined. I think it's awesome that you all play instruments.

However, just because I think it's awesome, it doesn't mean I want to listen to you play and sing the same five songs over and over again for five and a half fucking hours! Especially when your apartment band includes a tambourine and cowbell but no people who can, you know, actually sing on key for any significant amount of time. I mean, I actually like Matt Nathanson's 'Come On Get Higher' and Jason Mraz's 'I'm Yours' and Lifehouse's 'You and Me' and Maroon 5's 'This Love' and The Killers' 'Mr. Brightside' ... when they're the ones singing. You guys singing those songs ... not so much.

Also, five and a half straight hours. That's like, sixty-six minutes per song. Seriously, this is what you guys do for fun?

Please look into getting a television and Wii like normal college students.

Your very annoyed and unfortunately not deaf neighbor
trinsy: (are you my mummy?)
  • Wooden bar makes climbing onto my roommate's slightly lower bed in order to more easily get off my own raised bed not as practical as I'd hoped.
  • Toilet clogged Wednesday night after making strange whistling/grinding sounds all week every time we flushed. Asked roommate who works at the Physical Plant to get someone to look at toilet for us. Apparently someone stopped by while I was in class yesterday. The toilet no longer makes noise, plus we now have a new toilet seat and showerhead which has really amazing water pressure. Slightly perplexed by the added bonuses, but definitely not complaining.
  • It's been hot all week, so I don't know why it only just now occurred to me to turn my fans on high.
  • Apparently the guys in the apartment across the alley want us to "wave and be more friendly and neighborly". Okay then.
  • I think I've done more homework in the past week then I did the entire time I studied abroad/the entire second semester of my freshman year. And it will only get worse. Christmas can't come soon enough. I already want to die.
  • Having a roommate with the same morning schedule sucks far more than I could have imagined.
  • I think VLC media player makes my computer run slowly, which sucks since I use it all the time.
  • I hate how I have to do laundry more often in the summer because I sweat more.
  • Every time I come back from class, I always start going to my old apartment. Conditioning is crazy!
  • I have this overwhelming urge to write Albus Severus/Scorpius fanfic, but absolutely no ideas for a plot, so ... I guess I won't be doing that.
  • Why is it that I can happily read fifty tabs of fanfic, but fifty pages in a novel for class and I want to kill myself?
  • On that note, I would fucking ACE a class on fanfic! Someone seriously needs to create that course. It could be like a media/lit/writing course, where you would read selected fics and discuss their merit and what makes it good or bad, and talk about AUs and why people write them and what we can learn from them and stuff, and then you'd connect it to the culture at large and the connections people make in fics, and then at the end instead of a term paper you'd just write your own fanfic and then your classmates would evaluate it based on what you learned in class. Okay, seriously, wouldn't that be awesome? You know you'd take that course!
  • Actually, someone just needs to start like 'Fandom University' or something, because then maybe school wouldn't suck so much for people like me. I mean, I'd actually have stuff to say in class if we were watching Doctor Who, you know? Intelligent, academic things to say too, because I actually have thoughts like that about it. Whereas I don't fucking care about post-colonial literature so I'm not fucking looking to see if water is a fucking motif because I'm just trying to finish the fucking book so I can read the other fucking book for my other fucking lit class so I can write the fucking analysis about fucking connections I'm making the fuck up because I don't actually fucking see any because I don't actually fucking care! See, school is clearly bad for my blood pressure. Fandom never makes me this profane (with the exception of The-Miniseries-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named which totally doesn't count because that was out of PASSION not PASSIONATE INDIFFERENCE).
  • Why the hell am I a Lit major again?
  • I went for a walk this morning before class. That was cool. I wonder if I actually have the willpower to do it every M/W/F. I hope so, because I liked it.
  • I sort of wonder if I will ever get over my newfound passionate love of Kirk/Bones. I mean, I'm sure I will, but it's really hard to imagine at this point.
  • Also, it's really weird, because I really feel like I'm a lot like Jim in AOS (I'm totally Spock in TOS, there is not question), but then I came back to school, and I realized that my roommate and I are totally AOS!Jim and Bones (except that we're not in love): she's outwardly cocky and happy-go-lucky and rash, but I'm one of the only people who she lets see the more serious, fucked up side of her, and people think she's a slut but I know better; and I'm cynical and tough and practical and sarcastic, and she's always getting me to get outside my comfort zone and do things I normally wouldn't do and have fun, and I'm always stopping her from doing things that are really stupid. It's actually kind of crazy how accurate that analogy is. I still think there's a huge part of me that's like AOS!Jim, though.
  • I'm really excited about the new seasons of Merlin and The Sarah Jane Adventures. I mean, I have no idea when I'll actually have time to watch them, but I will make time, damn it! Merlin/Arthur = OTP! And one story in SJA features Ten[nant]!
  • I actually miss my family a lot more than I thought I would. I mean, I knew I would, but I just didn't expect coming back to school do be so damn hard.

June 2013

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